June 2016

What to Expect When You CAN’T Know What to Expect: Planning for Life with a Newborn

I was inspired to speak on this topic because I just got off the phone with three different expectant parents, inquiring about postpartum Doula services, who want to make sure they have adequate support in place after the birth of their baby or babies, but are overwhelmed with the prospect of planning for something they’ve never done before. Almost always the families that call me say, “How can I know what I need before I need it?”

Some of them will have family members nearby or visiting, but don’t yet know how it will go to have those relatives playing a role they’ve never played before – how much is too much to ask, will there be judgment and unsolicited advice, are they the type who will show up last minute or need things planned out in advance? Others don’t have family nearby at all. Some feel certain their partner will play the supportive role, intuiting their needs and the baby’s needs and sharing the load. Others are certain their partner won’t, and others don’t know until they know. Mostly, none of them know what to expect from themselves and their baby or babies. Will they do well with sleep deprivation or will it alter their mood and resiliency? Will they get a baby with an easier temperament or one that is higher need? Will they want time alone with baby, or will they want company, and how much and how often…?

Kathryn KeenerWhat to Expect When You CAN’T Know What to Expect: Planning for Life with a Newborn
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Borrowing Sugar – Ahem, WINE – from the Neighbors

Remember when borrowing sugar from the neighbors was a thing? I actually remember my mom sending me next door with a measuring cup to get ¼ cup of sugar. Once, it may have been vinegar.

Well, I’m not ashamed to admit, in my version of adulthood, it was wine (come to think of it, that’s kind of like a sugary vinegar now, isn’t it?). Not only had it become less common, maybe less acceptable to show up at the neighbors asking for stuff (I think it is seen as too intrusive, at least in the NY neighborhood where we lived) but I went ahead and upped the ante from sugar to wine.

Kathryn KeenerBorrowing Sugar – Ahem, WINE – from the Neighbors
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