Kathryn Keener

kathrynkeener@msn.com

Kathryn Keener is a postpartum doula and owner of One Moon Doula Services in San Diego, CA. She previously worked as a mediator of various types of disputes for almost 15 years. Both careers have given her a unique glimpse into the personal lives of people in the midst of life's changes and life's challenges. Here on her blog she muses about parenthood in the United States, including issues such as sleep deprivation, changing roles and identities, work/life balance, policies surrounding birth and postpartum, and forging our own communities and support so we don't have to go it alone.

Do I Really Need to Hire a Postpartum Doula So Far in Advance?

November 8, 2024 Kathryn Keener
Do I Really Need to Hire a Postpartum Doula So Far in Advance?

Many expectant parents understandably are reluctant to commit to an exact schedule for postpartum doula support when the reality of birth and the newborn stage still seems so far off and comes with so many unknowns. 

As an agency owner, I have an insider’s view of the doula community, how they plan and allocate their services, and how families can best ensure they have the right kind of support for their particular needs. This knowledge can help families to avoid scrambling at the last minute or settling for a service provider that doesn’t feel “just right” for their family.

The truth is, I see over and over again that the very best postpartum doulas and newborn care specialists get scooped up many months in advance. This is largely because families that have great experiences with these doulas sing their praises and refer them to friends. Sometimes, a friend who is only two or three months pregnant (or less!) will book a doula recommended to them because they’ve heard such glowing reviews.

The scheduling can be hard to wrap your head around, so here’s an example: At the time of this writing it’s early November, and there are families due in July of next year, for example. If those families know they want three full months of doula support, and they hire a doula who came highly recommended, that doula will be booked for July, August and September of next year – almost a year in advance.

This example might sound like an outlier, but the truth is even if they don’t book a year in advance, many doulas are booked four to seven months in advance – and many families don’t start their search process until they are seven to eight months pregnant, which creates some real stress for them when they’re not finding a good match so close to baby’s arrival. While they might be more comfortable waiting until the third trimester when everything feels more real, the supply of available doulas could be very limited by that point. Starting the research, contacting recommended doulas, or reaching out to a doula agency between 2-3 months into your pregnancy will greatly impact the choices available to you.

By planning early, you’re more likely to find a doula who:

  • Lives nearby or travels to your location
  • Is available for your due date and the weeks or months following
  • Offers the number of shifts per week you’re hoping for
  • Offers the type of shifts you’re hoping for (nights if you’re hoping for nights, days if you’re hoping for days, since not all doulas offer both)
  • Isn’t allergic to your pets, if you have any
  • And most importantly, has the personality you click with right away and qualifications you’re looking for

Planning last minute doesn’t necessarily mean you won’t find support, but often the doulas available at that point are either newer to the field, or are already partially booked and may not have the exact availability you’re hoping for. (Now, some newer doulas are still fantastic of course! But in general, the range of options available – whether experience level or travel range, etc – will just be more limited). Because uncertainty about exactly what type of schedule you might need could be one thing holding you up, in another upcoming blog post we’ll help walk you through what to consider when landing on a desired schedule with your postpartum doula or newborn care specialist. (Or, if you’re in San Diego or Orange County and searching for a postpartum doula, you can fill out our contact form to schedule a call with us and discuss this one on one!) 

In case this is leaving you with a feeling of overwhelm about putting your plans in place… we’ll end on a positive note: When families find the perfect doula, and lock in the support… they feel such a sense of relief and a sense of security. While much about the newborn days is unpredictable… knowing that you have support lined up does wonders for the jitters and anxiety over what’s to come!

Kathryn KeenerDo I Really Need to Hire a Postpartum Doula So Far in Advance?
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The Top Three Reasons for Doula Burnout

March 6, 2024 Kathryn Keener
The Top Three Reasons for Doula Burnout

In preparing to speak at the DONA International annual conference last year, I polled an online doula community about what factors either threatened, or ultimately led to, their burnout. Three main areas presented themselves:

  • Income Related Reasons 
  • Stress/Quality of Life
  • Isolation/Lack of Support

The income-related reasons had a lot to do with how hard it can be to anticipate income. Postpartum doulas are tasked with finding new assignments every few months, with potential gaps in between, and birth doulas may find the number of births per month varies and can’t always be known very far in advance, for example. There’s also sometimes trepidation about charging “too much,” either because there’s a culture that says doing this kind of work shouldn’t make you a lot of money (that’s for a whole other blog post) or because a doula is afraid of not being hired if their rate is too high. Many doulas also don’t account for the amount of unpaid time that is required to run a business.

Stress and quality of life are also contributing factors to burnout for a number of reasons. Sometimes doulas commit to a bigger workload than is sustainable for them, in part due to the concern about unpredictable income, or sometimes due to difficulty and discomfort with setting boundaries. (Have you ever had a family book 3 nights/week, which let’s say is your max… and then convince you to add more nights when you know from experience that 3 is your limit?!) Many doulas also reported that they thought they could work a certain number of overnights/week to make a certain level of income, or take a certain number of births per month… and then learned it was too hard on the body (whether that be the overnights/sleep deprivation, or the on-call lifestyle and irregular hours). In our previous blog post, we shared some tips (and a free download) for setting boundaries and preserving your quality of life while doing this important work!

A lack of support is another challenge to the longevity of doulas in the field. First, being a good doula does not mean having all of the know-how to run a business, and therefore many doulas report feeling overwhelmed in that area, without a reliable resource for the myriad of questions they have. Second, doula trainings can only prepare a doula for so much, and can only cover a certain percentage of possible scenarios they will encounter, and so there is a lot of “on the ground” learning that has to happen, that leads to a need to process with peers and mentors, seek feedback, and feel a sense of camaraderie. Without this support, the likelihood of a doula learning and growing in order to thrive is diminished. 

Knowing these potential traps and challenges can benefit a new or aspiring doula, and help them to enter on a career path with realistic expectations, and strategies for making this work sustainable for them. We’re passionate about helping doulas prevent burnout – to benefit them, and all of the potential families they may serve along the way! For this reason, we’ve launched The Postpartum Doula Career Roadmap, packed with tips on setting up your business for sustainability and success. Click here to access the pre-sale offer and be among the first to dive into the course at a special discounted rate before it’s fully released! 

Kathryn KeenerThe Top Three Reasons for Doula Burnout
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Preventing Burnout for Doulas and Newborn Care Specialists

February 21, 2024 Kathryn Keener
Preventing Burnout for Doulas and Newborn Care Specialists

Doulas tend to naturally be giving people. We’re drawn to this work because we want to make an impact during a time of need. Being in a caretaker role can be rewarding… and draining. Many doulas and newborn care specialists have to go back to their own families between shifts and continue in some sort of caretaking role there, as well. And yet they’re reluctant to set the boundaries and put the conditions in place with their work to make sure they can continue in this field without burning out, because it’s tempting to be able to meet whatever accommodation a family might need. That, unfortunately, is not always possible or sustainable. Preventing burnout needs to be a central focus of doulas if they’re going to continue offering their deeply valuable services. 

Detachment 

The word “detachment” can seem cold or unfeeling, but if we want to pull from some ancient wisdom, in the Buddhist sense it actually has more to do with not holding on to things you can’t control. It’s important for doulas not to see themselves as the solution, or the savior for a client’s stress or challenges. A doula is a source of information and yes, empowerment at times. But you won’t have the perfect brainstormed solution for every client situation, not every tip or trick will be the “aha” you might hope it would be,… or be received in the way you hope. If we’re too attached to that outcome, the families feel it, and it comes with a pushing or forcing energy. If we need that outcome to prove our worth – or we need to stay constantly “busy” accomplishing tasks to feel we’re doing our job – we may be setting ourselves up for burnout. Now, I’m not going to lean on the overused term and say all we need to do is “hold space.” Our role does usually need to provide a mix of hands on support, household tasks, emotional support, and education. But not trying to be “everything to everyone,” at all times, is important. Which leads me to…

Balancing time during a shift

Not only is our insight not always the “salvation” the client needs… but breaking our backs to prove the value of our time with a client will lead to burnout as well. It’s okay if you’re not hustling the entire postpartum shift, or physically active during the entire time at a birth. Of course we want to add value, take tasks off their plates, increase their quality of life. These should be high priorities. But if as a postpartum doula you’ve taken care of some laundry and dishes and tidied up, helped to make a meal or a healthy snack, gotten the baby down for a nap, and there’s some down time… that’s okay too. You can ask if there’s anything they’d like you to research for them while you wait for baby to wake… or anything they want to discuss… but you can also explain (ideally in advance!) that you take advantage of those lulls to hydrate, have a snack, use the restroom… take a breather. If you’re there for an overnight, you can set realistic expectations about what parts of the shift are used towards what tasks (perhaps laundry at the beginning of a shift, but not in the middle of the night, for example), and normalize for them the importance of getting some rest when you can, in order to make your schedule sustainable. It should be clear in your intake conversations or interviews if this is your approach. 

Knowing your limits 

Another key ingredient to preventing burnout is to know your limits. So many doulas take more shifts/week – or more births/month – than is ideal for them, because it’s what the client wants and they have trouble setting boundaries, or because they want to take advantage of the opportunity to earn now to buffer against slow times. That’s a real consideration, but overbooking yourself is extremely likely to backfire later. Figure out what number of shifts (or hours) per week, or births per month, is sustainable for you. If you make an exception (say, taking 5 overnights shifts/week when your ideal max is 4) put a limit on how many weeks you’ll make that exception for. If you’re afraid of not getting hired because you can’t offer their ideal schedule, consider partnering with another doula to meet that family’s needs. 

For more tips on preventing burnout, download our FREE GUIDE: Preventing Burnout for Doulas and NCS’s.

And, check out our next blog post all about the top three reasons we see doulas burning out!

 

Kathryn KeenerPreventing Burnout for Doulas and Newborn Care Specialists
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How (and Where) to Find the Right Doula for Your Family

April 20, 2023 Kathryn Keener , , ,
How (and Where) to Find the Right Doula for Your Family

When searching for a birth or postpartum doula, or newborn care specialist, you have quite a few options – so many, in fact, that it can be seriously overwhelming! We’ll outline some potential avenues and strategies here. And, since working with a doula agency could be one option that can help you avoid some of that overwhelm, save some time, and add to your peace of mind… in our next post we’ll go into further detail about Working with an Agency to Find the Right Doula.

[A disclaimer of sorts… While the author is an agency owner, she was also a solo doula once! In addition, having heard from so many families for over a decade about their experiences searching for a doula, we wanted to offer this resource to families regardless of which route they choose!]

So, here’s a range of options for you:

  • Web search: You have the option of doing an internet search to find local doulas in your area that work as solo business owners. You may or may not be able to tell from their website what type of availability they have, or what their rates or minimums are (though many will have that listed) so this will likely involve submitting some online inquiries or reaching out by phone. Plenty of people find their doulas this way successfully of course, but there’s also the possibility you’ll spend quite a bit of time “barking up the wrong trees” if the doulas you reach out to aren’t available, don’t have certain requirements you’re looking for, aren’t responsive, don’t travel to your area, etc. A web search can however be a useful way to make sure a doula’s approach is aligned with what you’re looking for, especially if you check out their blog or social media. For example, if their materials are speaking primarily to families planning a homebirth, and you plan to give birth in a hospital, you may not be a match for each other. It just can take some time to weed through the results for all of the above information.

Because there is no formal licensing or uniform credentialing for this profession and technically anyone can call themselves a doula, this approach of finding a doula also may mean you want to call references and/or run background checks. You may also want to ask for verification of their credentials such as certificates from training they have taken, CPR certificates, vaccines, etc. Of course if you’ve already gotten names word of mouth, from trusted friends who had a great experience with a particular doula, that is valuable and can help steer you in the right direction for your search! More on that below.

  • Directories: You also have the option of searching within an online directory, most of which don’t necessarily have a vetting process, but can at least get you a listing of doulas in your area and perhaps their relevant qualifications. If the directory is on the website of a doula training organization, it may be reasonable to expect that they’ve only listed people who have taken their training, so that you at least know this much about them. Other directories allow doulas to list their own qualifications, without proof of such, and have never spoken with or vetted the doulas in any way, which is just something to be aware of. (It’s probably the rare individual who says she has a doula training or lactation credential, for example, and doesn’t… but we’ve seen it, so it’s important to mention here). Again, as with a web search, you can always ask the doulas you interview for any paperwork you feel you need to be comfortable with your selection.  
  • Word of Mouth: And of course, as we mentioned above, there’s the option of word of mouth, at least to start you on your way! In fact, believe it or not, there are amazing doulas out there who do not have a website or much of a web presence at all! (As you can imagine some of the people drawn to doula work – to providing catered and hands-on support to a family – do not have a particular penchant for administrative tasks or marketing, for example, as these are very different skill sets!) That said, keep in mind that just because your friend loved their doula, doesn’t mean their doula will necessarily have availability for your needs, travel to your location, work the hours you desire, have the vaccines you might require, etc. So, having more than one option here is best. 
  • Agency Search/Matching: Agencies tend to have an existing team, or network, of previously vetted doulas that they can match with your family based on schedule type, location, and even personality fit, as well as any preferences you have regarding the doula’s specialty areas, experience level, vaccine status, pet ownership if you have allergies… and the list goes on! This can save you quite a bit of time on your search, and narrow things down more quickly and effectively. In addition, usually the agency owner has already put the candidate through an application and vetting process, which often involves calling references. One of the nice things about this is that an agency owner knows what types of questions to ask the references in order to really get an idea of the doula’s temperament for this work, areas in which they may need coaching and improvement, etc. Ideally the agency also solicits feedback on a regular basis from their clients to keep tabs on how the doulas are doing in case there is anything that needs to be addressed. This can bring expectant parents the important peace of mind when making such a big decision as who to invite into their home following the birth of their baby/ies. Other benefits of working with an agency can involve access to backup support if your doula becomes ill, access to the agency owner if things aren’t going as anticipated, and potentially access to a doula “team” if your schedule can’t realistically be covered by one provider. Agencies often provide continuing education for the doulas and so it can also mean finding a doula who is more committed to ongoing learning and growth.

A note on collectives/collaboratives: It’s possible that collaboratives can have the benefits of backup support, and in some cases may help you narrow down your search. That said, we’ve found these terms are used rather inconsistently and so it can be hard to know what the benefits might be depending on the circumstances. Often a collective or a collaborative is a group of colleagues who share some marketing costs and distribute inquiries/jobs amongst the group. This does not necessarily entail a formal vetting process for members, though in some cases it may. It doesn’t necessarily mean that there’s one person with oversight deciding who might be a good fit for you, though in some cases it may. Often collectives/collaboratives are under-resourced to deal with the administration of fielding inquiries, follow up, matching, and other types of client support because generally no one is being paid for their time spent doing these tasks. (There may be a fee to be a member, but it’s generally a low and one time fee that covers mainly the web presence/minimal marketing efforts of the collaborative, whereas with an agency, there’s either a fee involved to cover these activities, or the agency owner keeps some portion of the cost as their fee). On the flip side, there are agencies who for one reason or another don’t want to call themselves agencies, and therefore put “collaborative” in their title… but structurally work more like an agency! This can be confusing for families to navigate. 

We’ll try to help you understand the different types of agencies (there are at least four potential agency types!) in our next post, Working with an Agency to Find the Right Doula.

Kathryn KeenerHow (and Where) to Find the Right Doula for Your Family
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Newborns are temporary – Zoom out if you can

August 8, 2022 Kathryn Keener , ,

Today I put my first born on a plane (yes, he insisted on wearing pajamas  because he is 14) for his first solo adventure to see some cousins in Colorado. And while this might not seem related to our work as a Postpartum Doula Agency… I’ve decided it is.

It is because… he was a newborn not that long ago. And I really do mean not that long ago. Not in the cliché way of “blink and you miss it,” because it’s not that simple – it HAS felt like 14 years in many ways… but instead what I mean is that when we “zoom out” we can get a glimpse of the reality that it will be a relatively small percentage of our lives that we are actively parenting, that our children live with us. And I share that not to say “enjoy every moment,” (because that’s another oversimplified cliché). Rather I share it because I KNOW that the parents I speak to, almost daily on the phone – while they’re having a challenging time with a newborn, or feel anxious about that day coming – find it almost impossible to zoom out, to see this as fleeting and temporary, or to project into the future, to picture the myriad of forms their parenting journey will take. (I know many of them find it almost impossible in part because I did, too). But zooming out, or projecting forward, is sometimes exactly what makes us better able to ground in the present moment: better able to surrender if this moment is hard; better able to relish if this moment is wonderful. So, it’s worth trying now and then.

One day, the newborn you hold today will walk onto a plane by themselves. You will either feel nervous, or sad, or happy for their adventure, or excited, even, to have your house feel a little quieter for a few days (!) Most likely, almost definitely, you will feel all of those things circling together. But if you’re a new parent, you already know that your ability to hold multiple emotions at once can surprise you. Zoom out. Surrender.

Kathryn KeenerNewborns are temporary – Zoom out if you can
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Thinking of Becoming a Postpartum Doula? Make Sure You Have These Four Things in Place

April 6, 2021 Kathryn Keener
Thinking of Becoming a Postpartum Doula? Make Sure You Have These Four Things in Place

We’ve been recruiting and mentoring doulas for over 10 years, and fielding questions from people who are curious about becoming a postpartum doula. If that’s you, start here to make sure you know what to expect and how to set yourself up for success!  

Relevant Background

This work is great for someone who has a background in a relevant field such as early childcare, nursing, nannying, childbirth education, or other caretaking professions. If you don’t have much hands-on experience with newborns, we’d encourage you to dive in with that however you can to build confidence – help out some friends or family, volunteer at a hospital/NICU if you can (these opportunities can be hard to come by),… and if you lack in-person opportunities, start to watch some how-to videos on YouTube (regarding bathing, swaddling, soothing, etc…) Perhaps you could even attend a Newborn Care Class meant for new parents, or a breastfeeding support group, if the instructor and group would permit that. And while newborn care is a critical part of the role, we would ask you to think carefully if you’re getting into this work only for your love of babies – you are there to support the whole family, and your role is infinitely more complex than just baby care. 

Right Temperament

You need to be able to adapt to each family’s needs, as well as their widely varied styles and preferences. The goal is nonjudgmental support, so you’re going to need to be able to let go of strong feelings you may have about the “best” ways to do certain things. You’ll have to feel out (and ask!) whether they’re wanting input and information, or whether they just want things done a certain way. Families generally want someone who can “read the room,” and know when it’s a good time to engage, vs a good time to quietly find tasks that will help to support the needs at hand. They’re not always going to want to feel like they have “company” and sometimes they don’t want to have to come up with things for you to do, so taking initiative – with their consent – will be important. Some new parents will have a lot on their minds, will be looking for a listening ear… and you’ll form a close and intimate relationship. Others are more private, and you’ll have to figure out how to communicate with them while respecting their space. As you can see, communication skills and an ability to adapt are critical to having the right temperament for this work!

Appropriate Training

We hear from aspiring doulas that they feel an immense pressure to choose the “right” doula training. Here’s some good news about that – we really feel you should not pick just one. Start with one, of course. Then build some traction with your business. Once you have earned some money, and have some paying clients lined up… consider taking another training (perhaps a year later). You’ll gain some insight and learn something new at each one. 

A main consideration for training is choosing between in-person, pre-recorded, or live virtual trainings. We tend to lean towards in-person or live virtual trainings because they are more dynamic, provide more opportunities to ask questions and learn from the participation of other attendees. That said, you know your learning style best, so take that into consideration as well. Then, there’s the mission and brand of the training organization you will want to get a feel for. We talk about this more in our workshop, Career 101 for Postpartum Doulas (more information below!)

Realistic Expectations

Too many people get into this work without truly understanding what it takes to make it work, or how to set boundaries to avoid burnout. You need to understand that due dates are unpredictable, so many of your plans will be tentative (What will you do to best accommodate the family if the baby comes early and overlaps with another client or other plans? What will you do if baby comes late and has a NICU stay, delaying your income by a few weeks?) If your availability is very limited and rigid, you may not be a good fit for this work or will need to at least understand that many families will want to select a doula who has more flexibility. At the same time, having some clear boundaries is important. 

Questions you will want to consider:

Will you offer day shifts? Night shifts? A combination? What’s your ideal number of hours per week and is there room for that to fluctuate, given that some families want to start with more support and scale back, or vice versa? Will you need backup support? What will your arrangement be with that person? Does joining an agency make more sense for you?

Families’ needs will often shift and change, and you will benefit if you have explained clearly in advance, both in your interview and your contract, what changes you can and can’t accommodate – and what that means for the financial commitment they have made to you. It’s a balance to strike, offering some flexibility to the family while still being able to accurately predict your income over a given period of time. 

Once you’ve reflected on these four areas, you’ll be much more prepared to start this career path with your eyes open and your doula feet nimble! We go deeper into these considerations, as well as other issues such as scope and scheduling, in our Postpartum Doula Career Roadmap. Click here to access the pre-sale offer and get started with an exclusive discount before the full course is released!

Kathryn KeenerThinking of Becoming a Postpartum Doula? Make Sure You Have These Four Things in Place
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Postpartum Doula Not in the Budget?

April 5, 2021 Kathryn Keener ,

You’ve heard from friends about how amazing it was to hire a postpartum doula or newborn care specialist to help them adjust to life with a newborn, provide an extra set of hands, a listening ear, and a source of up-to-date information to answer all of their questions. Some of them had the doula come at night, to help with the accumulating sleep deprivation. So, you start to search the internet, maybe make some calls…. And bump up against the reality of your budget.

Many families, while they may have budgeted for baby gear, the nursery, and professional photos, among other expenses in preparation for baby… haven’t budgeted for this expense because they just didn’t know they would need it. (If you’re learning about these services early in pregnancy, of course we want to emphasize that it’s worth considering whether some of your budget could be set aside for these services instead of some other indulgences, and here’s why; you can’t put a price on the quality of your experience while becoming a parent to a newborn, or on the peace of mind that comes with knowing you have a safety net for when things prove more difficult or overwhelming than you were anticipating).

The truth is, whether or not you can afford ongoing support from a Postpartum Doula, you cannot afford not to give careful thought to what your needs will be during the postpartum period, and there are other things you can do to set yourself up for success.

A chat with your spouse (before baby arrives)…

Have you thought about how you will suddenly have less time for other tasks, and for things you enjoy, and what you’ll do about that? What will you hire out, what will you let go of, what can your spouse take on that wasn’t previously on their list…? What do you think you will need from your partner in order to feel supported (not just logistically but emotionally)… and what will your partner need to make sure they are not only empowered in their role, but taken care of in order to help take care of you and your baby? Start to have these conversations. Put some action steps in place.

Childbirth education

How your birth goes can impact how quickly you recover and how you feel, physically and emotionally, during your earliest days with your baby/ies. Also, many Childbirth education (CBE) classes will spend some time addressing what to expect not just during labor but also during your first few weeks with baby, and what resources you might need. CBE classes come in a variety of formats, and the format you choose can depend on your learning style and/or ease of access. You can do in-person group classes, private in-home classes, live virtual classes, or purchase a pre recorded class to watch at your convenience. We have a link to one of our preferred prerecorded classes here; you can receive 10% off by using the promo code: 2021.

Lactation (or Infant Feeding) Education

Some of the early challenges with a newborn have a lot to do with how well they are feeding – is a latch issue leading to gassiness? Is baby getting enough breastmilk/formula? Too much? Taking a class before you welcome your baby can help set you up for success, help reduce some of the confusion during the early days of feeding your baby,… and help you have a plan for when you hit bumps in the road. Some organizations have videos you can watch, private classes, or group classes.

Infant Sleep 101

Why does everyone keep saying you’ll never sleep again? Having an awareness of the early sleep patterns, how they will change over time, and what you can do to ensure everyone is getting as much rest as possible, can prevent some of the shock of those early days. It’s worth reading a couple of chapters in a book about this, or scheduling a consultation call with one of our Sleep Coaches.

Newborn Care Classes

Take some time before baby is here to learn about some of baby’s cues and what they might mean (hunger, sleep, gas, etc). Learn about the basics of sleep – typical sleep patterns, and balancing an infant’s need for nutrition with the need for sleep. Understand baby’s nutritional needs and how to make sure they’re being met. And just get some basic tips around diaper changes, bathing, and interacting with your newborn! We host private and group Newborn Care Classes; learn more here.

A visit with a Lactation Consultant (IBCLC)

Some people wait until there is a problem to see an IBCLC. However, there is also the option to set up a private consultation during your first week home just to check in on you and baby and perhaps prevent problems before they begin, or catch them early. See our recent blog post about local IBCLC’s and the services they offer.

Local friends and family

Listen. This deserves a whole blog post of it’s own… but I promise you, there are people who want to help. Take them up on it. Whether it’s taking them up on their offer to bring food by (“if we’re resting, we’ll leave a cooler on the porch for you to drop it in, and we’ll visit another time!”) or to hold the baby while you take a shower, or take your toddler to the park… We know it’s so hard to accept help, especially when you’re not sure how or when you’ll reciprocate. It’s okay. You’ll want to do it for someone else one day, promise – and when you do, you’ll want them to take you up on it!

So many families that end up calling us after their baby is born, looking for help, end up saying something along the lines of “I should have prepared as much for postpartum as I did for labor and delivery!” or “We did so much reading up on pregnancy and delivery, we just didn’t think about what we could do to prepare for this part!” We’re hoping the tips here help you feel more prepared, and help to smooth your transition as you begin a new journey with your newborn.

Kathryn KeenerPostpartum Doula Not in the Budget?
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The Top 3 Tools for Finding the Perfect Doula Match

February 17, 2021 Kathryn Keener , ,

Not every family is looking for the same thing when hiring a Postpartum Doula. Some really prize experience, in the form of years working as a doula, and/or families served. Others put more emphasis on the personal “fit,” how they emotionally connect with this person, whether they have the right energy and approach for their family (along with, of course, professional training and some amount of relevant experience). Some parents value life experience more than they value professional experience, and still others have specialty area requests like a doula with extra lactation education, or experience working with twins or premature infants.

As part of our specialized matchmaking process we’ve sent many doulas out to many interviews over the years, and learned from the clients and from the doulas what resonated and went well, and what left the families feeling uncertain about the match. We’ve counseled our doulas before and after interviews about how best to communicate their particular strengths and offerings to the families, and how to establish a connection and to model what it would be like for the family to have that doula as a caretaker and support person, so that the family can make an informed decision that they feel confident in! From our experience, finding that perfect doula match all comes down to these three main tools or components: the bio, the interview, the references.

The Bio

The doula’s bio can serve to paint a picture of the doula’s qualifications and personality. It will include their training information, their philosophy towards support or their “why,” other relevant work experience, advanced trainings, and areas of expertise. The bio is often what opens the doors of communication– but it’s just a starting point! While it’s helpful to get a feel for what has led the doula to this line of work, we caution doulas not to go into too much detail about their own birth or postpartum experience, due to the fact that families want to make sure the doula is coming with an open mind and with their focus on that family’s experience, not with any personal agenda.

The Interview

The interview is a chance for the doula and parents to connect and get to know each other. We encourage doulas to just be comfortable in their own skin, and help the families get a sense of what it will be like to have that doula in their home! The doula will likely ask questions about the family’s goals and expectations for their postpartum period. The family might ask that the doula expand on what’s in her bio, and ask how they have supported other families. There can be talk of scheduling parameters and availability, fees if that hasn’t been covered prior, how any potential needs for backup support might be handled. These days it can also be a time to check in about expectations about social distancing and other covid-related questions. The interview is the opportunity for both parties to determine it’s a good fit and that they’d like to move forward.

The References

If you’re working with an agency such as ours, you may opt to skip this step due to the vetting that is part of our process (including calling references, and continually seeking feedback from families). Otherwise, checking in with a few families that a doula has previously served is a great way to gain insight into their philosophy towards care and their energetic presence in the home. Questions to ask include: What role did the doula play in the household? Did it change over time? How did they present themselves each day? Were they higher energy and personable, or lower energy and calming? How did their presence make you feel? How did they share information with you? Were they direct, or did they wait for you to ask for advice? Hearing their answers may help you gain clarity on what exactly you’re looking for and which of these factors are most important to you!

Both the bio and the interview work to establish a connection and to model what it would be like for the family to have that doula as a caretaker and support person, so that the family can make an informed decision that they feel good about. Calling references (or going through an agency that has done so) provides that added reassurance that helps you feel confident in your choice.

Parents!

If you’d like to get started with our Doula Matching Services, just fill out this brief form if you haven’t already. We’ll send you some additional information, then schedule an intake call, and then if you’re interested in moving forward, we’ll narrow down the search and send you bios of the doulas we feel would be a great match! There’s a little more info about our network of doulas here.

Doulas!

We’ve used our years of matchmaking experience to develop a prerecorded workshop, The Bio and Interview Masterclass for Doulas, where we can help you understand what families are looking for. We help make sure you are communicating your strengths and relevant experience in your written materials, such as your Doula Bio. We also help you with interview strategies that serve to set the tone, anticipate common interview questions, and communicate your value. Whether you’re a brand new doula or have been practicing for years, the interview process has the potential to transform your business and multiply your opportunities. Join us to make sure you are catching your clients’ attention and getting hired! Find more information here.

Kathryn KeenerThe Top 3 Tools for Finding the Perfect Doula Match
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First Weeks with Baby: A Resource Group for Families with Newborns

May 18, 2020 Kathryn Keener
First Weeks with Baby: A Resource Group for Families with Newborns

How many times have we heard people joke or lament that babies don’t come with a user’s manual? That they couldn’t believe they were simply sent (or left) home with their newborn and trusted to somehow figure it all out? Often those sentiments are seemingly about understanding and figuring out a new baby, and yet in addition there are also the unexpected physical and emotional effects that birth, and postpartum, have on the mother or birthing person, and on the rest of the family. 

Well, even if there were a manual… you couldn’t ask it questions, like you can of an expert who is available to you live and in real time. It couldn’t listen to your frustrations and commiserate with you the way another parent of a newborn, struggling with the same uncertainties, can do. And a manual also could never capture the whole range of scenarios you might be dealing with – your baby’s particular temperament, mixed with your particular feeding challenge or sibling needs or sleep struggles or spousal relationship or the state of your mental and emotional health… Even a clever app cannot account for all of these factors. Only compassionate and knowledgeable human beings can do that. 

So,… we’ve created your living, breathing, manual. In First Weeks with Baby, we connect you with the TOP experts on all of the subjects that will be critical to you during your first weeks home with a newborn – whether it’s your first baby or your fifth. This membership group will be where you turn when you’re nervous about giving baby the first bath, or when your mind is racing during those middle of the night feedings; where you come after one more tearful argument with your spouse because you’re both stressed out and overwhelmed… or on one of those days when you and your baby are both crying because you can’t figure out what he or she needs. You can attend the talks live, to ask your pressing questions, or you can watch the recordings when they apply to your situation. This can also be where you tell what works for you, when with other parents who can benefit from your hard-earned wisdom, and where you share those sweet happy moments that make it all worthwhile. 

The weeks and months following the birth of a newborn is a fragile and fleeting time. It can be overwhelming – sometimes with overwhelming love and joy, and other times with overwhelming stress and uncertainty. While conditions usually rapidly improve after the first few weeks and months, getting the right support in the meantime can make all the difference between enjoying those early days and simply enduring them. There’s no prize for suffering the most. Make it easier on yourself, build your confidence and ease your frustrations, with this safety net you can fall back on in your times of need.  

Having this “manual-come-alive,” at your fingertips whenever you need it, is exactly the peace of mind that all parents of newborns need to get off on the right foot, and to take care of themselves in order to take care of their family. Weekly experts cover topics such as:

  • Newborn Care Basics
  • Infant Feeding
  • Postpartum Mental Health 
  • Nutrition and Healing for Birthing Person
  • Gentle Sleep Conditioning
  • Marriage/Relationships
  • Dad or Partner Role
  • Sibling Situations 

Sign up for your baby’s estimated due date, and know that when the time comes, we’ve got you. Know that you don’t have to know now what you will need then,.. because we’ve figured that out for you. Know that when the unexpected happens (because how can we possibly know all of what to expect?), there’s a place you can come to to ask “what now?” Put down the books, and the apps… and join US! 

Sign up for our newsletter, below, for more information and a link to get started!

One Moon Doula Newsletter

Can’t wait to see you there! 

Kathryn KeenerFirst Weeks with Baby: A Resource Group for Families with Newborns
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Sleep Coaching Services at One Moon Doula!

December 14, 2018 Kathryn Keener , ,
Sleep Coaching Services at One Moon Doula!

We have some big news!!

When One Moon Doula expanded to an agency model three years ago, the focus was exclusively on Postpartum Doula services in order to streamline and provide the highest quality services possible.

Recently, we were finally able to re-launch our SLEEP COACHING SERVICES.

Our format is now highly specific and catered to the family that wants the most individualized and fullest level of support – in-home sleep coaching (i.e. handholding!) for 48-72 hours…. and unlimited email and phone follow up for four weeks. Basically, there’s no way to not see the progress you are seeking, using our expertise and our devotion to supporting you the whole way through.

By the way – it is fine and normal for babies to wake up during the night! And of course, our role as parents is to tend to their needs. This does not, however, mean that a night-waking habit cannot be addressed and improved – dramatically – with babies’ needs still being met. Also, guess who has needs too!? Parents. Guess what one of baby’s BIGGEST needs is? Healthy and happy parents!

So…..

INTRODUCING… One Moon Sleep! (Ideal for babies between 5 and 18 months!) Visit the page https://www.onemoondoula.com/sleep-coach for more information or to submit an inquiry!

Kathryn KeenerSleep Coaching Services at One Moon Doula!
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Mother’s Day Shoutout!

May 14, 2018 Kathryn Keener
Mother’s Day Shoutout!

We’re hoping you had a Mother’s Day that included some rest, some snuggles, and some time to reflect. Here at One Moon Doula we spent some time reflecting on all of the mothers we’ve been so honored to serve!

So far in 2018 we’ve served the mother (and father) who tried for a 4th… and got twins! We’ve served the single woman who decided to become a mama on her own… the mom who is keeping her postpartum anxiety at bay by bringing one of our doulas in for overnights so she can get the sleep that quiets her anxiety… even the mom who was certain there was no way she could trust someone else with her newborn, but knew for her wellbeing she would have to try, at least for a few short shifts. We’ve served the mom who was so nervous about how her toddler would take the change, and the mom whose partner travels for work and wanted to make sure she wouldn’t be alone when he’s gone. We’ve served moms who are struggling with decisions about how to get their babies to sleep better, with decisions about whether to supplement with formula and which one, with whether to persevere through a difficult breastfeeding situation, and with decions about when to go back to work, and whether to seek help for a postpartum mood disorder.

Mothering a newborn (or newborns!) can be overwhelming – sometimes with overwhelming joy and love, but sometimes with overwhelming stress and sleep deprivation, or most likely some combination. When you commit to your own wellbeing, you are committing to the wellbeing of your child!

Cheers to all of you who are finding ways to take care of yourselves so you can care for those around you. Carry on, mamas!

Kathryn KeenerMother’s Day Shoutout!
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CAREER 101 for Postpartum Doulas

November 9, 2017 Kathryn Keener
CAREER 101 for Postpartum Doulas

 

Follow us for career tips and advice!

 

How to decide if the Postpartum Doula role is for you:

Are you an early childcare provider? Retired nurse? “Stay at home” parent? Some parts of the job might feel familiar and which might push you out of your comfort zone. Are you a birth doula who always figured being a postpartum doula would feel like babysitting? (It’s not). Or you’re already a postpartum doula who wants to grow your career? Use our resources for doulas to learn about the impact you can have with growing families!

Choosing a training or training organization:

There are many trainings offered. Consider whether a prerecorded format is best for you, or whether you learn best in person… or you like the online format but prefer it to be live or have a live component!

The lifestyle:

Figure out if this work fits your lifestyle. Some Postpartum Doulas do only day shifts, others only night shifts, and others do both. What to do about the fact that you can’t be sure of your start date with each client, due to birth being unpredictable? What if you can’t cover all of the client’s needs? How to balance multiple clients and due dates? Slow seasons and busy seasons? What can you expect to earn? Our webinar, “How to Succeed as a Postpartum Doula, Without Burning Out!” is a great place to explore these scenarios.

Business structure:

Will you be a solo practitioner? Find a partner? Work as an independent contractor with an agency? All of the above!? How do each of these approaches impact your earning potential?

Next steps:

What are some of the basics you need to have in place to begin your career?

Join Us!

Sign up for our webinar, held 2-3 times per year, to set yourself up for success!

Participation in this workshop in no way implies or guarantees any association between attendees and One Moon Doula Services (OMD). OMD is not currently seeking doulas but does periodically have openings, which require individuals to go through an application and interview process to be considered for contract work.

Kathryn KeenerCAREER 101 for Postpartum Doulas
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The Sun and Your Baby

September 5, 2017 Kathryn Keener
The Sun and Your Baby

While September brings back to school, it can also bring some of the hottest days of the year here in San Diego. We might be beginning to daydream about scarves and boots, but we can’t forget to keep our sunscreen game strong!

Of course, many of you have infants who are too young to douse in sunscreen if they are under 6 months, at least according to the Skin Cancer Foundation. But babies this age produce very little melanin for protection from the sun, and therefore they recommend the following steps:

  • take your walks with your new baby before 10am and after 4pm
  • use window shields to protect your baby or babies from the sun during car rides
  • dress babies in light clothing that covers most of their skin, and in a hat with a wide brim to protect the head, neck and face.

The AAP indicates that a small amount of sunscreen can be applied to areas that remain uncovered (“Sun and Water Safety Tips,” aap.org).

If you’re going to the beach here in San Diego, bring an umbrella or shade structure, and avoid the middle of the day!

After 6 months of age, a sunscreen with at least SPF 15 is recommended. Of course, some parents are concerned about the ingredients getting absorbed into their little ones’ skin. For that we recommend Environmental Working Group’s sunscreen guide, or their “skin deep” app, which allows you to enter in a sunscreen brand and type and see how it scores for its levels of potentially harmful chemicals. The ingredients can change from year to year, and the app stays current!

Have fun in the sun!

But wait – what about Vitamin D!? Sunscreens that protect from the sun can also inhibit our absorption of Vitamin D, which is important too! (See how hard it is to make informed decisions in the best interest of our children!? Here’s where we all take a collective deep breath and have compassion for how complicated this job of raising little humans can feel sometimes).

Not to worry, in our next blog post we’ll tackle what you need to know about Vitamin D and Your Baby.

Kathryn KeenerThe Sun and Your Baby
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Nine Simple Strategies to Prevent Back Pain After Baby

June 29, 2017 Kathryn Keener
Nine Simple Strategies to Prevent Back Pain After Baby

These nine tips come to us from guest blogger Dr. Dawn Andalon, a physical therapist specializing in women’s health at Level 4 Physical Therapy and Performance in Carlsbad, CA.

1. Change up Your Sleeping Position

Sleep with one pillow only.

Anything more will bend your neck more than it should and means the muscles in your back, neck and shoulders are stretched more than they are designed to do so.

2. Improve Your Core Muscles (Not Just Pelvic Floor)

When you’re out for a walk and after only a few minutes you find you need to lean on your baby’s stroller for support because your back aches, or you try to go for a jog but can only manage a few minutes until your back hurts, then you’ve got a problem with your core muscle group that needs fixing fast.

If you’re suffering from lower back pain, groin, hip or pelvic girdle pain (PGP), then without having this ‘core’ group of muscles working, you’re very unlikely to be able to get back to your pre-pregnancy condition.Consider learning the proper way to activate these muscles by a physical therapist who is trained in Pilates!

3. Regular Exercise Is Vital
​
It might seem you don’t have the time, especially now, but there is always time to add a simple daily exercise routine your life, even if just for a few minutes each day. (Your postpartum doula can help you brainstorm how to make this happen, or take care of your baby while you get a workout!)

Swimming is a very effective way to begin your recovery from lower back pain and is also a proven way to begin the release of the feel good chemicals your body holds back if you’re not exercising, known as “endorphins”. This can also provide great stress relief.

If you do have lower back, hip, groin, or pelvic girdle pain, then please be very wary about starting an impact-type exercise plan too soon (running, step class, boot camp, etc.). Consult a Women’s Health Physical Therapist to discover whether you might have locked joints that need to be loosened or released by hand.

4. Get The Stroller At The Right Height

Make sure you don’t have the handlebar at a height that is below your elbow height. This means that you constantly have to lean forward, which adds stress to your spine.

5. Pick Up And Carry Your Baby Correctly

As tempting as it is to carry your baby on one hip, you will be adding untold amounts of pressure to your hip, groin, pelvic girdle and symphysis pubis problems.

You need to evenly distribute the weight of your baby as best you can. And often the best way to do this is with a professional carrier or sling. Switching hips, unfortunately, won’t prevent the problems listed, so consider minimizing hip carrying, especially if you are experiencing discomfort.

6. Wear The Right Sized Bra

If you’ve jumped from a B cup to a D or DD, it’s important to visit and get fitted in a specialist lingerie shop to minimize stress on your lower and mid back regions. Consider avoiding high-fashion places – most of the best solutions are found in a small boutique type shop with women trained on how to find the right bra size.

7. Avoid High Heels

Wanting to look and feel great again after nine months of pregnancy can sometimes lead you to pull out those sexy heels.

When you wear a pair of high heels, you’re asking an already weak lower back to work 25x harder than in comparison to wearing a pair of flat supportive shoes. If you have to wear them, pick them for an evening of valet parking and seated fun!

8. Adjust The Crib Height

Lifting your baby with a weak back is a nightmare for some new moms. Lifting from a low crib is even worse.

As your baby becomes heavier, it’s even more important to be aware of the way that you lift him or her out of the crib, stroller or car seat.

The core muscle group being strong is an absolute must, but you also need to consider the height of the crib. Can you adjust it? And if not, can you position yourself so that when you do lift, your legs aren’t completely straight?

9. Stay Hydrated

Being dehydrated can cause muscle aches and pains, fatigue and dizziness. So, it’s important that you keep your water intake up in an attempt to ease off any extra or unwanted tension in your back muscles. One really simple way to avoid this is to cut out the stuff that makes you dehydrated in the first place, like excessive coffee, tea, alcohol and energy drinks.

Sip water often throughout the day. Or, if you’re the type who forgets, make a point to chug a big glass all at once if you know you’re going to forget to come back to it later. Do that a few times throughout the day to get your recommended water intake.

If you continue to have symptoms that are not relieved with this advice, you might consider an expert Women’s Health Physical Therapist. Easily the fastest way to settle back pain is to have it done for you by hand. Sometimes exercise isn’t enough to unlock the problem, because if you have joints that have become locked, stiff or stuck during pregnancy, there is only one way for them to become loose — and that’s by hand. The techniques that a postnatal physical therapist will use prepares the body to be able to workout and exercise, meaning you are going to be much safer, have more movement, feel stronger and get your energy back fast.

Don’t hesitate to contact Level 4 Physical Therapy’s women’s health specialist about your back pain.

Phone: (760) 503-4440 or email: dr.dawn@level4pt.com

HEALTH ADVICE DISCLAIMER
By reading this publication, you agree that following any advice herein is at you own risk and agree to hold harmless Level4 Physical Therapy & Performance, Inc., its owners and employees. We are able to offer you this service at a standard charge. Significant injury risk is possible if you do not follow due diligence and seek suitable professional advice about your injury. No guarantees of specific results are expressly made or implied in this blog post. 

By reading this publication, you agree that following any advice herein is at you own risk and further agree to hold harmless One Moon Doula Services, LLC, its owners and employees.

Kathryn KeenerNine Simple Strategies to Prevent Back Pain After Baby
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Upcoming Events for New and Expectant Parents in San Diego: March 2017

February 17, 2017 Kathryn Keener

 

We are sharing information about two events that will have great appeal to pregnant women, their partners, and parents of newborns, infants, toddlers and young children. One Moon Doula Services will be in attendance at each of these events, both of which take place in San Diego in March. Stop by our booth to say hello!

The first event is a parenting fair entitled “Nurturing Compassionate and Mindful Children the Natural Way,” on March 3rd and 4th, and is put on by The Center for Integrative Psychology and The Mind Body Mama. There will be speakers, booths, and a Friday night wine and cheese, with a panel discussion. That portion of the event is only $15! More information on this event, which is to be held at Alliant University, can be found at http://themindbodymama.com/workshop.

The second event is BabyFest at Babies in Bloom, on March 25th from 10am-4pm. There will be 50 booths, activities, speakers, demos (babywearing, cloth diapering, etc) and giveaways. This is a great place to meet other parents and professionals, and learn about products and services in your area. More information at http://www.babies-in-bloom.com/babyfest/.

Let us know if you have any questions! In between speakers and events, stop by our booth to meet owner Kathryn Keener, as well as to get to know some of the Postpartum Doulas from One Moon Doula Services. We hope to see you there!

Kathryn KeenerUpcoming Events for New and Expectant Parents in San Diego: March 2017
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Does it Matter Which Training Your Doula Took?

January 5, 2017 Kathryn Keener
Does it Matter Which Training Your Doula Took?

In short… not really.

You should interview prospective doulas in person (birth or postpartum). You should ask them about their doula training, their experience, their ability to reliably provide vetted back up in the case they can’t provide service to you. (Ask them for a name, and then interview that person – unless you’re going with an agency such as ours where all of that is built into the interview and selection process for you). If I were you, I’d ask questions about various scenarios (“How does your role change if I decide I want an epidural?” or “what if I have trouble with breastfeeding or decide I want to use formula?”) You should feel reassured that they respect and honor your family and your decisions. You should feel very comfortable and at ease with them. You should also trust your gut, just like with any other personal interaction.

But whether they trained with DONA, CAPPA, ProDoula, toLabor…. Is less of a cause for concern. It is not the training that makes the doula, it is the doula that makes the doula.

I can speak from experience that the training doesn’t make the doula. I have worked as a postpartum doula for four years now, and for the last year I’ve run an agency. At any given time I have 5-7 postpartum doulas working for my agency. I’ve interviewed and vetted them, called references, seen some of them in action or in trainings… and meet with them regularly to debrief, troubleshoot, and provide professional development. Our doulas at One Moon Doula Services do not come from any one training or background. Some have been doulas for years, while others have recently transitioned from nanny work, or parenting young children, into the doula world. Some have trained with multiple organizations, as have I, and others feel loyal to just one. I can see them in action, and I can see that they are professional, compassionate, and thinking adults who take what they learn, assess how it fits or doesn’t fit their practice, and make it their own. Of course, there are doulas out there who have taken excellent trainings who still don’t show good judgment or make very good doulas. Then there are doulas who have taken trainings they felt were lacking, who’ve gone on to be the best doulas anyone can ask for.

Having taken training from three separate organizations myself, I can also say from experience that there is nothing drastically different about any of these trainings. They’re covering much of the same ground. Just like there are average and excellent doulas, there are average and excellent trainers (within each organization). In the doula world there are some strong opinions about the different philosophies of different training organizations. But most of those differences have no impact on the families hiring the doulas. And the families should be our number one focus.

One final “shop talk” note. For 15 years I worked in another field, as a mediator. And provided mediation training. And I DID feel responsible for who walked out of the door after my training and how they would represent the profession. For that reason, my agency and I didn’t just train anyone who signed up. We required them to apply – and be accepted – before taking the training. Because a training can only do so much to create quality, proficiency, and ethics in a person. They have to walk THROUGH the doors with much of that already in place. My hope for you, if you are looking for a doula, is that they walk through your doors with those qualities and so much more. If you are welcoming an outsider into the fold during this momentous and deeply personal time in your life, that’s what you need and deserve.    

Kathryn KeenerDoes it Matter Which Training Your Doula Took?
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An Overnight Doula for Your Hospital Stay?

December 19, 2016 Kathryn Keener
An Overnight Doula for Your Hospital Stay?

We were recently hired by a family who knew they would want overnight help from a postpartum doula during their hospital stay after the birth. After the baby was born, they wanted the father to be able to sleep at home with their four-year-old son, but the mother didn’t want to be alone in the hospital. Of course, one option would be to send the newborn to the nursery for the night. However, more and more new parents are choosing to “room in” with their babies.

Expectant parents are learning in their childbirth education classes that rooming in with their newborn or newborns can be good for bonding, for the breastfeeding relationship, if that is a goal of theirs, and for having involvement and a “say-so” over what newborn procedures get done (and when and where). In fact, hospitals with the Baby-Friendly Hospital designation are tasked with encouraging new parents not to rely too heavily on the nursery – although that initiative has been criticized for demanding too much of exhausted, healing mothers who may just need a few hours to recover without being startled awake by every peep the newborn makes. (From “Behind the Baby-Friendly Hospital Practice That Not All Moms Love,” The Huffington Post). Obviously, most people desire a balance between opportunities to bond with their baby and their own needs for rest and recovery. This balance may look different from couple to couple. 

The mother who hired us for postpartum doula support to begin in the hospital remembers, from when her first baby was born, how many endless disruptions there were overnight in the hospital in addition to her baby’s needs. If the baby wasn’t waking her for a feeding, a nurse was coming in with her pain killers (post c-section), or to give a sponge bath (at 4am!) or to take the baby’s vitals. In our fatigue and fog after childbirth and delivery, and in the newness of the hospital setting, we often don’t realize we have some choice in these matters, or we don’t feel we can tackle the logistics to make for as peaceful a night as possible. (Like, please don’t come in to offer me orange juice and new towels if I am not already awake for crying out loud – literally, I will cry out loud).

Let’s face it – the first few nights with our new babies are eye-opening (when we most wish to close them), sometimes a shock to the system (why is he awake again!?), and vulnerable (is their anyone in this entire building who has not seen my bare nipples!!?) Having someone lend a hand, give a breastfeeding tip… and maybe gently request that the nurse come back a little later because mom and baby just drifted off to sleep… can make all the difference. Packing up to head home a little less sleep deprived, a little less overwhelmed… and with the knowledge that your doula is just a text or a phone call away when you’re ready for more support – well, isn’t that the least we can do to get families off on the right foot?

We now offer gift certificates if that peace of mind is something you’d like to gift to a loved one.

Kathryn KeenerAn Overnight Doula for Your Hospital Stay?
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POSTPARTUM DOULAS NEEDED

November 2, 2016 Kathryn Keener
POSTPARTUM DOULAS NEEDED

This is not your average “job” opportunity.

One Moon Doula Services is seeking postpartum doulas. Our team of doulas provides top-notch, personalized service to families in San Diego county. We get to do important work and make a difference for families, while utilzing a team approach to ensure that we continually learn from each other and have access to the support and opportunities the agency provides. 

Doulas who work for our agency provide postpartum doula support to our clients, in the client’s home. This involves helping the entire family transition to life with a newborn (whether it be their first or their fifth). It can include newborn care, informational and emotional support for the parents, sibling care, light housekeeping and organization, errands and meal prep, and “TLC” for the healing and/or adapting mother. Mostly it requires tuning in to the needs of the family and responding to their particular situation, with nonjudgmental support. Some doulas might also offer belly binding, lactation education, placenta encapsulation, infant massage, and various other services to the postpartum mother and family as an add-on to their services.

The nature of postpartum doula work is unpredictable. While you may have the opportunity to set your own boundaries (number of hours per week, or day shifts vs. overnights, or taking time off after the birth of your own child or to care for a loved one….) other things are not within your control. There’s no way to know when a client’s baby/ies will arrive, for one. You may have a client who thinks they want overnights, and switches to days, or vice versa. (Therein lies one of the many benefits of joining an agency – if you are unable to make that switch for the client, likely there is someone else who can. That being said, One Moon Doula does seek doulas with a certain amount of flexibility).

Benefits of working for a doula agency include: flexibility, camaraderie, professional development, reliable backup doulas, and the support of the agency director if a dilemma or challenging situation arises with a client. Agency doulas also benefit from the outreach, networking, and advertising efforts of the agency. Their administrative workload (normally unpaid work for private doulas) is greatly reduced, as the agency handles contracting, billing, much of the scheduling, and other administrative matters such as evaluations, reviews, and follow up with clients. The doulas also benefit from the trust and reputation the agency has earned from referral sources such as past clients, providers, and colleagues.

If interested, please contact us to receive a list of job requirements and application instructions, or call (845) 596-3590. You do not have to be currently trained as a postpartum doula, but must be willing to take an approved, 2-day training upon joining the agency. 

One Moon Doula’s Business Philosophy:

One Moon Doula Services believes that there is generally a lack of adequate social and practical supports for families in the weeks and months following childbirth, and seeks to partner with families to ensure a satisfying and successful transition after the birth of their child/ren. The first weeks in a new human’s life are a vulnerable time: mother and baby are physically vulnerable; the entire family is impacted and challenged by the change; a culture that values independence and emphasizes the nuclear family often clashes with the reality that humans are not meant to enter parenthood in isolation. It is possible to feel fully supported while still embracing the experience in your family’s own unique way, and that is with respectful and nonjudgmental help from informed, compassionate postpartum doulas who empower parents to balance their own needs with the needs of the whole family and therefore enjoy (rather than just survive!) life with their newborn/s.

For more about our clients’ experiences, see our Yelp reviews.

Supporting parents of twins

Supporting parents of twins

Kathryn KeenerPOSTPARTUM DOULAS NEEDED
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Why Breastfeeding Comes Naturally to Most Babies – But NOT to Their Mothers

October 14, 2016 Kathryn Keener
Why Breastfeeding Comes Naturally to Most Babies – But NOT to Their Mothers

On the one hand, breastfeeding is, of course, natural. In some ways it’s amazing to see all of the babies who instinctively know what they’re doing. There’s even a term, “breast crawl,” that describes how babies, just minutes or hours old, will inch themselves from mother’s belly right up to the breast, even though babies can’t technically crawl until many months after birth.

On the other hand, it no longer “comes naturally” to so many mothers in our society because while babies get their instincts from nature and biology, mothers receive much of their know-how from information and observation. These days, the opportunities for moms-to-be or expectant parents to witness the ins and outs (literally!) of breastfeeding are few and far between. Their peers are often using formula or expressed breast milk when in public or amongst company, for convenience or privacy. Or, they are using covers or retreating behind closed doors to feed their baby, due to modesty or because of fear of backlash for nursing in public.

We know from our primate relatives in captivity that this lack of exposure to normal functioning – in this case the feeding of our offspring – leads to dysfunction. A gorilla in an Ohio zoo in the 80’s gave birth, but had never witnessed another gorilla mother with her baby. The gorilla had no inclination or instinct to feed her baby, and it died. When she was pregnant with her next baby, the Zoo brought in mothers from La Leche League to model breastfeeding. They came regularly, and the gorilla began to show some interest. Still, when the baby came, the gorilla showed no ability to do what was needed. The human mothers came back. One demonstrated for the gorilla step by step – how to hold and position the baby, how to stimulate the baby’s lips… and the gorilla followed suit. That’s all it took. (Julia Jones, www.newbornmothers.com)

Given that we are lacking the advantage of intimate observation, more and more mothers are trying to find other ways to inform themselves and set themselves up for reaching their breastfeeding goals (whether that be to breastfeed for one week, one year, or whatever they decide). Most people know that lactation consultants can step in and address challenges, sometimes an invaluable step to making breastfeeding work for a mom and baby. However, often by the time a lactation consultant is called into the situation, there have been some long days (and nights) of struggling, questioning, and distressing over the situation. Expectant parents are now looking for breastfeeding classes to take before childbirth – classes that familiarize them with important facts, prepare them for what to expect, and equip them with tools and resources for the challenges that might arise. A breastfeeding class can help parents relax instead of stress about what’s to come – and we see time and time again that helping parents feel relaxed and confident has a powerful trickle down effect (sometimes literally!) Many are saying that while the readings and classes they took prepared them for pregnancy and childbirth, there’s very little to prepare them for what’s next. A breastfeeding class is one important step in that direction.

One Moon Doula Services has partnered with a Certified Lactation Educator to provide Breastfeeding Classes in North County, San Diego. Parents will learn about what factors impact the mother’s breastmilk supply and how to know if you’re on the right track, what positions encourage proper latch, what to know if you will be pumping or storing breastmilk, what you need to know about the makeup of breastmilk, and what to look out for to prevent problems such as infection. You will also have the option to arrange for the Lactation Educator to make a follow up visit to your home, after baby arrives, to reinforce what you’ve learned!

See our “Other Services” for more information about Breastfeeding Classes.

Kathryn KeenerWhy Breastfeeding Comes Naturally to Most Babies – But NOT to Their Mothers
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Mom Guilt Part 1: A Getaway With the Husband

October 5, 2016 Kathryn Keener
A Getaway With the Husband

A Getaway With the Husband

This is where I’m sitting, right at this very moment while I write this. The view is spectacular. The “hotel,” (I almost can’t even call it that because of it’s size and grandeur) is luxurious. I’m working, but it’s work I love and care about. With so few interruptions because I’m not in my home office being beckoned by laundry or dishes… I’m not looking at the clock to see how much time until the kids get home. When cocktail hour comes, my food and drinks are paid for and I’m in the company of good people, including my husband.

I’ve come to accompany my husband on a business trip because his room and flight were paid for, the schedule pretty relaxed, and it was a rare opportunity for us to get away together without spending too much money – and to take advantage of time together without the children.

“Without the children” – why is that soooo loaded?

I know a woman who in 18 years NEVER went away with her husband without the kids. There must be others like her. But then there’s the celebrity couple in the news who has arranged to spend every weekend child free, leaving their daughter with her loving grandmother (and then all the backlash from that announcement). And of course there’s everything in between. And for so many families it’s an angst-ridden, complicated decision each time. For some it’s “But we spend all week at work, we’re supposed to want to be with our children on the weekends” or for some “we do want to be with our children on the weekends.” But, they also might want carefree time with their spouse or partner, and many of us haven’t figured out how to have both at the same time – mostly, it’s not possible (or at least never a guarantee) because of the unpredictable nature of children and the high level of their needs.

I’d like to pick apart our guilt – to figure out how much of it is based on our real authentic core values about parenting and family, vs. imposed judgment from other people or our culture. How much is about what feels right or wrong to us, versus what we fear others will think? I hope to attempt that over the course of this blog series on Mom guilt. I’ve been talking to other moms while I’m here and the one thing I feel I can put my finger on is that a lot of these feelings stem from the age old “quantity vs quality” debate. We have internalized expectations about how much time we should be spending with our children. Where does that come from? For example, we’re seeing pointed out by Jennifer Senior in All Joy and No Fun, and by Brigid Schulte in Overwhelmed, that parents today spend significantly more time each day with their children than parents in the 1950’s – and that’s when most households had only one working parent! Is that because things were more communal, kids roamed the neighborhood, in and out of each other’s houses, with less need for one on one with the adults? (And is that better, or worse, and does it matter?) Certainly if we rewind even more I imagine infants were strapped onto backs while moms washed clothes on rocks in the river, other children being tended to by older siblings while parents worked in the fields. Now, not only are parents trying to squeeze in their idea of sufficient time with the kids, but the amount of that time that is spent in “high quality, ‘interactive care’” has almost tripled! (Schulte).

So, not only have we as a society at some point decided a certain quantity of time with our children is important, but that time spent is intentional and purposeful – and therefore, harder!

We’re spending more time with our kids, and we’re under pressure to spend it a certain way. “Quantity” and “Quality.”

Now, maybe that’s better. Maybe our kids will benefit. (I guess only time – and more studies – will tell).

But is it any wonder we need a break? Is it any wonder our spouses are being pushed to the back burner? And where do they fall in this discussion of more or less, better or worse? (Is the divorce rate relevant to those kinds of decisions?) Keeping a marriage healthy is hard work – that requires time, and time spent a certain way, too – some Quantity and some Quality.

In case it helps you, here’s something I do… I like to remind myself that I was a whole person before I had kids. I was also a partner before I had kids. And that wanting to revisit what it was like to be that person, or that partner, every once in a while, is okay – maybe even healthy. One day, I’ll be a version of that person again – my kids will forever be a part of me but on a daily basis, less and less so. One day my partner will be my main person again. And I don’t want to feel like we put each other on hold “until.” Some marriages make it “until” – some don’t. I’d also like for my boys to see what a healthy, supportive, connected romantic partnership looks like. To know that we are not JUST their parents, but we’re our own people with our own relationships too. I have to believe that sets them up for healthy relationships themselves.

Of course, I can tell myself all of this, but those little pangs of mom guilt still remain: the knowing how much the boys would prefer it be me or their dad tucking them in for the night or sending them off to school; the just plain old missing them, (but on a trip like this I must admit I miss them in a “can-someone-just-bring-them-to-me-for-a-quick-squeeze-and-a-check-in-and-then-whisk-them-away-again” sort of a way). We won’t eradicate mom guilt, but maybe we can erode her power just a tiny bit, by telling ourselves the kids are alright; that learning how to be outside of their comfort zone and trust other people to care for them is useful; that welcoming home refreshed, happy parents will benefit them in ways they can’t yet understand.

Cheers!

Mom guilt on a getaway with the husband

The importance of couple time without the children

Kathryn KeenerMom Guilt Part 1: A Getaway With the Husband
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About the Author:

Kathryn Keener is a postpartum doula and owner of One Moon Doula Services in San Diego, CA. She previously worked as a mediator of various types of disputes for almost 15 years. Both careers have given her a unique glimpse into the personal lives of people in the midst of life's changes and life's challenges. Here on her blog she muses about parenthood in the United States, including issues such as sleep deprivation, changing roles and identities, work/life balance, policies surrounding birth and postpartum, and forging our own communities and support so we don't have to go it alone.

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