Doulas tend to naturally be giving people. We’re drawn to this work because we want to make an impact during a time of need. Being in a caretaker role can be rewarding… and draining. Many doulas and newborn care specialists have to go back to their own families between shifts and continue in some sort of caretaking role there, as well. And yet they’re reluctant to set the boundaries and put the conditions in place with their work to make sure they can continue in this field without burning out, because it’s tempting to be able to meet whatever accommodation a family might need. That, unfortunately, is not always possible or sustainable. Preventing burnout needs to be a central focus of doulas if they’re going to continue offering their deeply valuable services.
Detachment
The word “detachment” can seem cold or unfeeling, but if we want to pull from some ancient wisdom, in the Buddhist sense it actually has more to do with not holding on to things you can’t control. It’s important for doulas not to see themselves as the solution, or the savior for a client’s stress or challenges. A doula is a source of information and yes, empowerment at times. But you won’t have the perfect brainstormed solution for every client situation, not every tip or trick will be the “aha” you might hope it would be,… or be received in the way you hope. If we’re too attached to that outcome, the families feel it, and it comes with a pushing or forcing energy. If we need that outcome to prove our worth – or we need to stay constantly “busy” accomplishing tasks to feel we’re doing our job – we may be setting ourselves up for burnout. Now, I’m not going to lean on the overused term and say all we need to do is “hold space.” Our role does usually need to provide a mix of hands on support, household tasks, emotional support, and education. But not trying to be “everything to everyone,” at all times, is important. Which leads me to…
Balancing time during a shift
Not only is our insight not always the “salvation” the client needs… but breaking our backs to prove the value of our time with a client will lead to burnout as well. It’s okay if you’re not hustling the entire postpartum shift, or physically active during the entire time at a birth. Of course we want to add value, take tasks off their plates, increase their quality of life. These should be high priorities. But if as a postpartum doula you’ve taken care of some laundry and dishes and tidied up, helped to make a meal or a healthy snack, gotten the baby down for a nap, and there’s some down time… that’s okay too. You can ask if there’s anything they’d like you to research for them while you wait for baby to wake… or anything they want to discuss… but you can also explain (ideally in advance!) that you take advantage of those lulls to hydrate, have a snack, use the restroom… take a breather. If you’re there for an overnight, you can set realistic expectations about what parts of the shift are used towards what tasks (perhaps laundry at the beginning of a shift, but not in the middle of the night, for example), and normalize for them the importance of getting some rest when you can, in order to make your schedule sustainable. It should be clear in your intake conversations or interviews if this is your approach.
Knowing your limits
Another key ingredient to preventing burnout is to know your limits. So many doulas take more shifts/week – or more births/month – than is ideal for them, because it’s what the client wants and they have trouble setting boundaries, or because they want to take advantage of the opportunity to earn now to buffer against slow times. That’s a real consideration, but overbooking yourself is extremely likely to backfire later. Figure out what number of shifts (or hours) per week, or births per month, is sustainable for you. If you make an exception (say, taking 5 overnights shifts/week when your ideal max is 4) put a limit on how many weeks you’ll make that exception for. If you’re afraid of not getting hired because you can’t offer their ideal schedule, consider partnering with another doula to meet that family’s needs.
For more tips on preventing burnout, download our FREE GUIDE: Preventing Burnout for Doulas and NCS’s.
And, check out our next blog post all about the top three reasons we see doulas burning out!