Parents of newborns will often hire a postpartum doula or newborn care specialist to support them with daytime shifts and/or overnight shifts during the first weeks – or months – at home with their newborn. Some will have the provider space out their visits and do 2-3 shifts per week for a few weeks, to supplement existing family support or other services. Others prefer more full-time help, utilizing 5-7 overnights, or 5-7 day shifts, or a combination of the two. But so often, before the baby has arrived, parents-to-be express uncertainty as to how much support, and for how long, will be sufficient.
On phone calls with our doula agency they will say things like “well, we don’t know what kind of baby we’ll get this time” or “it’s hard to know what we’ll need when we’ve never experienced this before.” Which is all of course totally understandable!
On these calls, we try to help them get clarity by learning more about their situation, as well as providing information about what is typical. For example, some families really emphasize the first 2-4 weeks, assuming that that will be the time of highest need. But, many babies experience “peak fussiness” around 6 weeks of age, and start sleeping better around that time or shortly thereafter. Therefore families often experience a feeling of improved balance and equilibrium around the 6-8 week mark. So, rather than “frontload” all of your doula hours in the first few weeks by scheduling 5 days per week for 3 weeks… you might consider booking the same number of shifts total, if that’s what you’ve budgeted for, but spreading them out over 4-6 weeks instead. Of course, if you want to really get the most out of the time period often referred to as the “fourth trimester,” consider making a bigger investment and planning for 3-4 months of doula support (even if you plan to reduce the frequency of visits over time). By 3-4 months, your baby’s nap schedule can be a little more predictable and regulated and they should be sleeping for even longer stretches overnight, and therefore many parents feel ready to “wean” off of their doula services around that time. (When planning, keep in mind we rarely see anyone wishing they booked less support than they did!)
Another reason to not “frontload” all of your support could be related to when your spouse returns to work. I often caution people that ending doula services at the same time as having a spouse return to work (or the same time a visiting relative leaves town) can really upend any equilibrium you’ve begun to establish! You can consider starting your doula services after the first couple of weeks to make sure you have some support after your spouse returns to work (or, start slower and ramp up support to help with that transition!) A lot of new parents will report that having a partner return to work felt a little like having a rug pulled out from under the parent staying home with the newborn. Let’s avoid that, and help your partner make a smooth transition without having you feel abandoned!
Of course there may be other factors to plan around such as when the primary parent staying home with the newborn has to transition back to work themselves, and/or the timing of family visits and how helpful or not helpful they’ll be while in town, etc. Families expecting twins will also typically arrange for a longer contract with their provider, as will parents who may be balancing their own medical or mental health challenges and need adequate sleep in order to do so. Chat with your doula or doula agency about these factors and let them help you plot out the best support plan for your specific situation!
