There’s no getting around the fact that having a baby changes you – and, your relationships. Your relationship with your other children is immediately and tangibly altered. You and your spouse may be navigating changing roles and responsibilities to find a new balance. And, involvement of relatives has the potential to be a true blessing, but also a potential stressor. Did you know that hiring a postpartum doula to both alleviate some of the workload and provide insights for a smoother transition can have a huge impact on these shifts in your identity and relationships?
If you’re anxious to help preserve your relationships during this major transition, here are 3 more reasons to hire a postpartum doula! (The first 3 are part of the first post in our series, You Know It’s Time to Hire A Postpartum Doula When… | Part 1: A Smoother Transition).
Sign #4. You’re Not Sure How to Set Boundaries With Visiting Relatives
Family and friends are excited to meet the baby — which is wonderful. But sometimes parents of newborns feel unsure about how to set boundaries around visits during those first few weeks – whether it’s when or how often they want visitors, or how to field unwanted advice and opinions.
Maybe you’d prefer to limit visitors early on, but you still want hands-on support from a trained professional . Or maybe you know family will be visiting but you’re worried about feeling pressured to follow their advice about feeding, sleep, or baby care.
Many families say their postpartum doula becomes a helpful “buffer.” Instead of saying, “We don’t want to do things that way” it can feel easier to say, “We got some ideas from our doula and we’ve decided to try this approach for now.”
Other families want to make sure that grandparents can just be grandparents, and use doula support so they don’t have to have to ask for too much heavy lifting from their family!
Sign #5. You’re Wondering How an Older Sibling Will Handle the Adjustment to a New Baby at Home!
Bringing home a new baby is exciting — but it’s also a big adjustment for older siblings.
Parents often worry about how their toddler will cope with sharing attention, changes in routine, and the overall shift in family life.
Postpartum doulas are trained to help families navigate this transition. They can support parents in helping siblings adjust (they have some fun tricks up their sleeve), and can also spend time engaging older children with activities, snacks, and story time.
This means you can have uninterrupted bonding time with the baby — and at other times, uninterrupted one-on-one time with an older child by letting the doula take over some infant care for you.
For many families, that balance makes the transition to baby number two (or three, or four!) much smoother.
Sign #6. Your Partner Won’t Be Able to Take Much Leave (And/Or, You Want to Make Sure You Can Both Take Breaks Without Causing Resentment)
When a partner has limited time off after the birth, the days at home alone with a newborn can feel long.
You never know exactly when the baby will nap, how long a given nap will last, or whether they’ll be fussy that day. It can be surprisingly difficult to stay on top of your own needs — eating regularly, resting, or even taking a shower.
A postpartum doula can provide daytime or overnight support during this time. It gives parents a safety net to fall back on when things are overwhelming, and allows everyone to rest a little easier. Many couples find they have to lean pretty hard on each other for any rest or relief if they don’t have adequate support, and that can stress the relationship. When a doula comes, it can be guilt-free relief for you both!
Stay tuned for yet more reasons to consider leaning on a doula for postpartum support in our upcoming blog post, You Know It’s Time to Hire a Postpartum Doula When… | Part 3: High Needs Scenarios.
